Little Lies

I swore I’d never drink before a flight
Never drink after a fight again
I’d never be addicted to grey air
Or let the romantically narcissistic idea
Of continuing a legacy
Light a fire that would weld the bars
To my endless imprisonment.

Embers, embers, embers
The coal catches once again
(i thought it was dead).
Inhale……….hold hold hold.
Feel the doubt and repugnance
Smolder down below.
My lungs betray me and let out a cry.

My diaphragm is weeping
These black clouds mean nothing.
It’s all watermelon mint and YA novels
A marriage certificate, a cake, a cat.
A little of this, a little of that

A lot of self-pity and regret.